I think of Polly, my colleague who recently left, and the advice she gave me during a coaching session: “Modupe,” she had said, “people don’t need to see all parts of you at the same time.” Two years of working together and although we have hopes to stay in touch, I know this doesn’t always happen. I’m grateful our paths crossed, for the advice and encouragement she shared when our paths were adjacent, and for the lessons she taught me about trusting God and emitting grace, lessons she may not even realise she gave. (I never managed to sign her leaving card - sorry, Polly - perhaps this is what I would have written!)
Closeness Lines Over Time is something I think about often. Sometimes our lives cross over in a space or time we’ll never again return to: the stranger I locked eyes with while waiting at a traffic light, a familiar nod, a laugh and then the lights turned green; or Dale, from RAC, who picked me up on the motorway and gave me a ride home in his pick-up truck; or the three ladies I met at a bus stop, who kindly invited me to share their Uber to Ally Pally. A second or an hour, our lines crossed and they’ll never cross again, yet, something was shared. Something small, other times, meaningful.
“When I was living in London, my first year in the UK and away from my family, I got to know some of the kindest and most generous people at church. There was a couple who would take me downstairs for tea and cake after every Sunday service and they took me under their wing and made me feel I belonged. The tea and cake and light-hearted chats were a huge blessing for me as I was financially and socially poor. I didn’t have money nor many friends. So Sunday was by far the best day of the week then.
I kept in touch with a few of them when I left London for university in Loughborough. This lady called Stephanie, although I didn’t know her very well and neither did she me, she was very generous to me while I was at uni. When I wanted to visit the church in London for Christmas or Easter, she would send me a cheque of £50 - £200 so I could pay for the train tickets and other expenses. This allowed me to go back to the church and my beloved church friends at least a couple of times a year. I had somewhere to go back to, just like most of the students who travelled back home in England. Her generosity continued till I got married.
I no longer stay in touch with Stephanie but her legacy still remains within me. She has taught me to be generous to others, regardless of my relationship with them, without expecting much back.”
Hyeri is a dear friend and colleague, the kind of person who if it wasn't for my job I would never have had the privilege of knowing. She, like Polly, has taught me more than she could possibly realise.
I loved this and resonated a lot with it. I think that forcing someone to stay when all the signs are pointing towards the end of a season with that person only makes things more painful and it stops you from unlocking the wisdom and lesson of that experience and then we can never truly grow.